As an adult I can look back on my teenage years with a certain appreciation. Looking back on some things, like teen crushes for example, can be funny and quite revealing. Not to say being a gay teen in small town Manitoba was easy, because it wasn’t. Part of the frustration for me was that despite the right of passage for all teens to hit puberty and develop acute sexual frustration/curiosity – I never really had an outlet for sex. I kept most of my fantasies and curiosities tucked away in the corners of my own pubescent mind, where I could avoid judgment and preserve what turned me on. You wouldn’t fine me taping pictures of RALPH MACHiO in my locker or giggling with the girls about how dreamy JOEY LAWRENCE was (but in hindsight I’m sure the girls would have gotten it).
Weather you were the girl in school who had posters on her wall of PATRiCK SWAYZE in DiRTY DANCiNG or anyone of the NEW KiDS ON THE BLOCK – or the guy who secretly masturbated to CiNDY CRAWFORD’S PEPSi commercial, it was clearly a normal part of growing up to develop crushes. For me it was safest to develop said crushes on figures I never had to worry about offending or being beaten up by – which sounds funny but its true. So instead I developed my ideas of what a sexy man meant to me, through listening to music or watching television and films. These characters represented, for whatever reason, what I wanted to embody myself in some way, or at the very least – who I wanted to be sexual with.
In honor of our inherent right to explore our sexuality as teens – I’ve come up with as close to a comprehensive list of my own personal TEEN-AGE DREAMS that I can recall. I mean it when I say its our right to dream – because weather you are gay or straight, popular or nerdy – pretty or damn ugly – you must acknowledge your own teen crushes, in the name of all that is funny and nostalgic.
I did begin to notice some re-occurring themes and characteristics shared by all these TEEN DREAMS as I did my research. In no special order these commonalities appear to be:
1. All these men have/had a penchant for tight pants. Whatever that says…
2. They all seem to enjoy heavy posturing and/or showing off.
3. Virility levels are off the charts for most of them…
4. If they weren’t ‘pretty’ there were pretty damn ugly…and these dueling traits carried over to my eventual relationships in reality… food for thought.
All in all – it doesn’t take much for me to recall what it was that originally attracted me to these men – so without further interuption, here they are in alllllllll their glory for YOU to apprecaite!
Who were YOUR teenage fantasies?