Archive for January, 2014
Had a nice night jammin’ with Flin Flonner Erick Bergman, a talented musician I met this past summer. We’ve connected along with some other locals, including Mark Kolt, & Brent & Susan Lethbridge but lately the two of us have made a point of fiddling around with some tunes ourselves, including covers of ‘Beg, Steal & Borrow’, ‘Through the Morning, Through the Night’ & some tunes off of Tiny Army. Can’t say enough positive things about Bergman – & given how much I love music its real nice to have folks to play around with. Thanks Erick!
I’ll be clutching this stone for as much of tonight & tomorrow as possible. I may even tuck it under my pillow – a ritual I did for about a month one year ago. I was going through a difficult time personally, which happened to coincide with my father beginning a battle with cancer. I picked two stones, one black & one white – both with the words ‘Faith’ written across their smooth surface. I offered one to my dad & he chose the black one while I kept the white one – symbolically I wanted him to know that I’m always there; that faith was something our entire family could draw upon, be it faith that health could be fully restored, or that everything would simply work out as it should. To trust.
Cancer, like many things in life – is a very scary experience; & I knew that if it was scary for me & my brother & sisters to face what was ahead, Lord knows it was going to be even more frightening for dad. I felt so many emotions, one being confusion – how do I help my dad? What can I do? He accepted this stone & together we held them & agreed that we would carry them hand in hand.
In that time I kept my stone under my pillow & I even clutched it in my hand for a weeks solid of sleep; if I awoke from a dream or a nightmare, if I was stirring with thoughts & images that cloaked me in fear – I held that stone & was instantly reminded not only of my ‘faith’, but of my dad, his courage & his will. It helped me somehow.
Tomorrow, if all goes well – my dad will be undergoing yet another surgical procedure to remove the said cancer. My sister, being the care-giving angel she is, is with him in Winnipeg tonight as dad faces this particular part of the journey… The rest of the family waits here, yet I know he’s still in our thoughts. As we said goodbye at the airport I showed dad my stone & he told me ‘I have mine in my pocket.‘ I know he will think about it as I will tonight with it under my pillow once again.
I love you dad; I’m proud of you.
Please Universe, protect my dad & ensure he is taken care of in every single, possible way.
Recently someone quoted author Chuck Palahniuk in a conversation we were having – the context escapes me now but the essence of the quote itself resonated. He said “The best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life.”
It compelled me to consider the many times I’ve felt slighted, overlooked, demeaned or hurt by others; oh sure I’ll spend some time being angry – occasionally perhaps too much time even. I also do believe that it somehow motivates me to do the best I can. I’ve begun to realize I can’t change people just because I want to, and a person will rarely get anywhere by exacting punishment or attempting to make others miserable. So, as hard as it might be at times, the only thing left is to do your best. Apparently when we let others attempts to effect us go, it drives them crazy!
I enjoyed thinking about this and found myself curious about what other folks take from it. Thoughts?
Last night a very thoughtful friend named Amber surprised me with a few sweet gifts that couldn’t have come at a better time. Below is a photo of her holding a fridge magnet with Ten Things to Always Remember…and One Thing to Never Forget & even though we were standing in a crowded house party with voices & music beating through & through – I read it there with her by my side & it was as though we truly were alone somewhere peaceful. It took me away for that brief moment where I could listen to the basic message my friend was trying to convey to me with this gift – & I thank her for loving me & being the special kind of person she is to communicate that love in such an obliging way. With that, allow me to share it with you – xo.
In the wake of some stressful times I’ve been digging into my tool bag of tricks in effort to combat life’s stress. Between work and personal life – it’s just my turn to feel overwhelmed enough that I have taken steps this week to decrease the stress and increase relaxation.
For me there were a couple of indicators it was time to take action: my moods have been fluctuating, often feeling irritable and emotionally tired; preoccupied at times with stress. Weight gain was an indicator and sleep has been generally good however this week I had vivid nightmares related to work, driving, etc.
For the past week I have began my plan of action as I do believe in being pro-active in initiating my self-care: not only have I made the choice to cut out alcohol and junk food, but also decrease my carb intake as well as increase my fruits, veggies and water. Four days into being back on the treadmill at the gym have helped in terms of being able to sweat out frustrations as well as gain a sense of control. I’m on a mission to work through things little by little as to restore life balance. I don’t meditate or do yoga…but music is my choice of hobby.
All of this has led me to wonder – and perhaps you can share your own stories – what are YOUR tools for combatting stress and restoring balance in life like? I’d like to learn more about what works for others and even possibly be inspired to try some new things that cover spirit, mind and body. If you’d like to leave a comment and share I would really appreciate.